Keeping Afloat A JasperBella Fic
by Jasper-Alice.FAN
Summary: Alice has left him. Edward has died. Leaving behind 2 broken souls, but how will Jasper and Bella cope? Not very well. Some Lemons - ALMOST finished - NO TIMEEEE! Fml.
1. Chapter 1

"Carlisle, can vampires even get sick?" Bella asked, in a strained voice. All this anger and despair was rubbing off on her, even though she was trying her hardest to stay afloat. Jasper's head was firmly in her lap, his golden eyes closed tight – her hands gently stroking the sides of his stone cheeks.

"I doubt it, Bella." Carlisle shook his head slowly.

"Well why is he like this?" She snapped back, immediately feeling guilty but knowing that she both did and didn't mean to.

Carlisle smiled slightly at the effect that had obviously gotten to her. Everyone else had left the house already; Rosalie was the first to crack after the initial bombardment of shame – it was her fault Alice had left without saying goodbye to Jasper, as Rosalie had told her not to hurt him – she had done the right thing in everyone else's eyes but not in her own. Emmett left shortly after, as the shame turned rapidly to embarrassment.

"He's trying to heal himself…" Carlisle muttered, as Jasper's eyes flickered open for a millisecond and then closed almost immediately. "He's broken inside; you should know this more than all of us."

"It isn't the same." Bella dismissed.

"But he's lost his mate, Bella." Carlisle said, touching Jasper's forehead in a display of uncontrolled affection. "Losing a mate is the worst thing that could happen – to both humans and vampires"

"Edward died. Alice still exists, she is still alive." Bella laughed, trying to shake it off as opposite ends of the spectrum. "It isn't the same."

"Bella, at least you know that Edward loves you." He said calmly. It was the sympathetic note in his voice that cracked her.

The old wound opened. All the depression that was bottled up inside Bella's frozen heart began to leak out. It was crippling. Her lithe hands moved from Jasper's face and onto her own arms, gripping tightly – trying to hold herself together. Dry-sobs racked her body but no tears escaped her eyes, not since he died, not since she was doomed to a lonely existence.

Jasper's eyes snapped back open, those typically golden eyes (although they hadn't always been) were black as coal. Waves of uncontrolled sadness, fury and desperation swept off of him, sucking Bella and himself further into their personal tornado of emotions.

"Bella. Jasper – stop now!" Carlisle commanded his hands balled tightly into fists, straining to keep a grip on his own emotions.

Jasper's eyes flickered to Carlisle, his adopted father. His mouth opened apologetically, but it was obvious that he couldn't stop all the output while Bella was fuelling his fire.

"Just… leave…" Jasper moaned to Carlisle, protecting him from the bigger wave about to engulf them.

He left within the length of a human's heartbeat. Jasper wrapped his arms around himself, holding tighter than he'd ever held anything in his existence. His knees pulled to his chin as his head still lay in Bella's lap.

"Bella… He loved you…" Jasper struggled out. "Remember… he loved you…"


	2. Chapter 2

**WRITERS NOTE – I STILL DON'T OWN ANY OF THE TWILIGHT UNIVERSE, WHAT A SHAME… THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO HANNAH (WHO GAVE ME THE PERFECT ENDING) AND LIZZY (WHO MADE ME WRITE THIS RIGHT NOW.)... THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS AND KEEP THEM COMING!**

"Bella, Bella… Listen to me." Jasper gasped raggedly. If he was a human, bruises would already be swelling over his muscled arms, he was holding so tightly. All these emotions – both his own and hers were overwhelming. He was stuck in a state of paralysing depression, unable to escape.

He forcefully pulled his hands from his arms and placed them around Bella's waist, trying not to squeeze her too tightly. Her face was covered by her hair, hazelnut brown locks trailing across her eyes.

Jasper pulled himself up to sit against Bella, his hands still pulling him close to the distraught figure next to him – the first time he'd really moved in the 5 days since she had left him. The hole in his heart swelled suddenly. He couldn't stop, his arms locked, pulling his whole body next to her.

"Bella, look at me, please…" Jasper gasped again.

There was no way that he would regain control without some help. He wished Carlisle was here, to carry him away. He wished Esme was here, so he could tap into her love, to dilute all the negative. But most of all, he wished Alice was here and that she loved him and that she didn't leave him – but she would never come back, he was alone and he hated it – his grip grew tighter.

"You're hurting me." Bella said, her voice not showing the emotional and physical hurt. Even though she was a vampire, she could feel the vice like grip he had on her, but she didn't care enough to make him stop.

"Bella… help me…" Jasper groaned. "I can't do this…"

His head nuzzled into her neck, she could feel his eyes pressed shut against her neck. She could feel his soft but stone lips stuck firm in a pained line. Her breathless sobs had ceased but she knew that wasn't what was making him feel so paralysed. She needed to escape, so he would be okay.

Her hands moved to his, placing her tender fingers on top of his. She slowly and gently pried his fingers from her hips. He flexed them again, keeping her next to him, something to hold on to.

"Jasper, loosen them and I'll help you." Bella whispered softly, her hurt dissolving and hiding as best as she knew how to. "You don't have to let me go, I just need the phone."

His head remained pushed into her neck, and his steel arms caged her tightly to his side. But infinitely slowly his grip loosened on her.

In a quick fluid movement Bella grabbed the mobile from the table and dialled Carlisle's number in less than 2 seconds. The dial tone rang once before he answered it immediately.

"Carlisle, please come back." She hissed quickly. "I'm hurting him and I don't know how to stop. Please. Bring Emmett, so you get him away from me. I don't want to hurt him anymore. Please."

**--**

The forest floor felt soft against his back, the moss clinging to his silk shirt. His knees pulled tight into his chest and his arms wrapped around them, hiding his face from his "brother" and "father". They couldn't feel the uncontrolled pain anymore; he was holding it all inside, trying to help his family. But Emmett's face was still blank with worry and Carlisle's hands held Jasper firmly to the floor, although the struggles and fight had died away.

"Son, please talk to me." Carlisle tried again.

Silence met him. Jasper didn't move or acknowledge Carlisle had spoke, like he hadn't for the last 4 hours. Carlisle knew that he would react badly to Alice leaving him – but Bella had recovered so quickly, returning to "normality" within 3 days of his death. Well, "normality" being a controlled state of existence, rather than uncontrolled sobbing and running. But Jasper didn't run initially, he didn't even fight when they had told him Alice had left.

The sun had long set, leaving the darkness to envelop them.

"Emmett, you can go and see Bella if you wish." Carlisle said, turning his face to his other adopted son. Vampires didn't get tired, but he could feel the almost washed-out state of emotional strain affect him, so he would spare Emmett from it.

"I don't want to leave Jasper alone." Emmett said

"But I'll be with him, he won't be alone." Carlisle said, but knowing that Emmett was just as concerned about his brother as Carlisle was. "Get some rest, son."

Jasper growled deep in his chest without warning. Carlisle's hands pressed him further into the dirt, fearing that the struggles would start again.

"Jazz, what is it?" Emmett said, moving to kneel at his brother's head.

No response. No thrashing.

"Jasper, brother…" Emmett said concerned

No response. No struggle.

"I know what you're going through, Jasper." Emmett tried again, trying desperately to get any kind of further reaction from his brother. "I won't leave you alone, I promise."

Jasper's head snapped up. His shoulders pushing against Carlisle's hands as he thrashed wildly on the dirt. Emmett grabbed hold of his arms; his strength coupled with Carlisle's was enough to stop the danger of escape.

"Get off of me!" Jasper snarled.

"We can't let you go, bro" Emmett said calmly.

"Just let me go!" He snarled again, this time snapping his teeth together threateningly.

"Jasper, stop fighting us please." Carlisle said soothingly. "If you stop fighting, we can release you…"

His fighting ceased immediately.

"Listen Jasper, we need you to talk. Can you do that?" Carlisle asked.

His head nodded strongly against the forest floor.

"Will you promise not to run?" Carlisle asked clearly.

He nodded again.

Emmett cautiously released his hold on Jasper's arms, letting his brother shake them. Carlisle's hold slackened from his shoulders but he didn't release him fully, taking no chances until he knew Jasper was under complete control.

"Can you let me go now?" Jasper questioned his voice rough with emotion.

"Do you promise not to leave us?" Carlisle asked, getting the feeling that Jasper was likely to take back his word and flee from the family, away from the ones he loved when he needed them most.

Jasper's face burned, his lips twitching, a silent sign of regret that Carlisle had caught him out, he wanted to run and leave everyone far behind.

"Jazz, we don't want you to leave." Emmett said quietly. "This is the time you need us most, and we love you, your family love you… Please just stay with us, we can help you. It may not feel like it now but you will regret leaving us… It's hurting you, bro."

"He's talking the truth." Carlisle simply added.

"I don't want it to hurt…" Jasper moaned, turning his face against Carlisle's shoulder and closing his eyes against the invisible tears.

"We know, son." Carlisle said, his hands rubbing Jasper's back as he gently and tearlessly sobbed into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Emmett. I'm sorry… dad." Jasper whimpered. The emotion in Carlisle's heart swelled – pride. Jasper had never called him dad, not even to keep up their human façade – but now, in his neediest moment, Jasper had reverted to it. The silent look exchanged between Carlisle and Emmett showed everything that it needed to, Emmett was gone from the clearing and was sprinting towards the house.

**--**

"Bella?" Jasper asked as soon as she stepped into the clearing. Carlisle could remember the fuss her scent had caused when she was human, and then again when she was a new-born. Generally, a vampire's scent is irrelative to their human scent – but Bella's scent was more alluring, but in a different way, she was no longer edible. Even now, as she stepped into the circle of trees, her unique scent caught his attention first – honey, lavender and honeydew melon.

"Yes, Jasper." Bella said cautiously.

"I can…"Jasper bleated into Carlisle's shoulder. His unruly blonde hair shaking as his body trembled. Carlisle grimaced, as a small cloud of pain blossomed from his son.

"Continue, son" Carlisle said softly, encouraging him to share whatever he was feeling.

"I can… feel your pain…" Jasper groaned.

"Do you want me to go, Jasper?" Bella asked, unsure whether she was hurting him.

Suddenly, a low groan escaped his lips. Carlisle grabbed him to his chest, pinning Jasper against himself. Bella reacted immediately, moving towards them, as Jasper began to thrash wildly again.

Carlisle's arms couldn't contain Jasper's full outburst of hysteria without help, and Jasper flew towards Bella.

"Bella!" Carlisle shouted

"Jasper!" Bella screamed

He tackled her to the floor, her unnecessary breath caught in her throat. On instinct, she tried to push him off, baring her teeth and growling. Her arms fought against him, but she knew it was a losing battle. He was decades older than her. He was a killer, he had killed thousands to be here – to be the survivor – she stood no chance.

Bella's eyes closed in acceptance of her fate.

**--**

"Bella?" Jasper choked out.

"Jasper?" Bella gasped.

"I don't want to let you go…" He said, into her neck.

"I'm here." She said, as softly as she could.


	3. Chapter 3

AUTHORS NOTE – SORRY FOR THE DELAY, I WAS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH FINDING A SUITABLE END TO THE CHAPTER, BUT I DECIDED THAT THIS IS THE BETTER OF THE CHOICES – BUT IT DOES MEAN THAT THE CHAPTER IS SHORTER.

THANKYOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS – KEEP READING AND COMMENTING!

NOW ONTO THE SHOW.

--

The night only got darker, the blackness swallowing Carlisle, Jasper and Bella into its plumes. The stars shone through the light tree canopy, casting their impure light onto the trio. Jasper and Bella sat huddled together, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her tightly. He was sending her gentle waves of calm – to dim the pain from her, so that he could help himself. Carlisle sat to the side – obviously watching his adopted children but not interrupting their affections.

"Bella, what happened with Edward?" Jasper asked curiously, but his voice tender.

She stiffened under his heavy arm, her eyes immediately cast to the floor to avoid his inquisitive gaze. No-one except her and Alice knew exactly what had happened to Bella's lover – the only thing that the others knew for certain was that _he_ had changed Bella before he died.

"Jasper…" Bella said slowly. "I don't want to hurt you again."

"It's okay, you won't hurt me." Jasper smiled wryly at her, knowing she was still watching him out the corner of her eye. He had seen her tracing his scars visually while he had held her tight.

"Carlisle…" Bella said, turning to him for assurance.

"Bella, I know it isn't what you want to hear, but I think you should tell us." Carlisle said, his face turned away from her glaring eyes. His hands wrung together, knowing that it could release an unwanted reaction from both of the damaged souls in front of him.

"Jasper if I hurt you, you have to tell me. I can leave." Bella said.

She sensed the subtle confusion building inside her, fed to her by the empathy – his power still not under full control. He looked a lot calmer, and the waves of self-loathing and guilt had stopped almost completely, but every now and then a small burst of emotion would escape.

"It's to do with… Alice." Bella muttered.

"Alice?" Jasper growled, his hands slackening from her shoulder. An instinctive shudder ran through him. "What has she got to do with it?"

"Son – Bella is about to explain." Carlisle interrupted. "If you can't keep calm, I'll fetch Emmett."

Jasper turned to Carlisle, his eyes apologetic, before turning his face back to Bella in hope that she hadn't taken offence from his outburst.

"Please… continue" He said softly, squeezing her shoulder.

"You have to remember, I was human at the time – a danger magnet, as Edward called me. Victoria was there…" Bella's voice remained smooth, but Jasper could sense the pain that was coming from her. He recoiled against her body, rubbing his head into her shoulder.

"Jasper?" Carlisle enquired.

"I'm okay, I'm okay." He said immediately, but moving the hand not wrapped around Bella to his forehead – as if he had a migraine. His golden eyes were tinted black with anger and sorrow.

--

"They were fighting, Victoria and Edward. I don't know what happened, one minute Edward was winning… and then, then he wasn't." Bella stuttered. "I've never seen him make a slip… I never thought he could lose…"

"And then Alice was there, I didn't know how or why, but she was there. She shouted something at him but I couldn't hear it, I was weak, I was human…"

"The next thing I know was Edward leaning over me – he told me I'd be okay, that he had to do this, and his lips touched mine in a kiss. Then he bit me. The pain was so bad… I cried out, the blood was running down my throat… I remembered thinking why Victoria hadn't attacked me…"

"Edward was still leaning over me, his lips so close to mine… It was as if he knew that it was his last moment with me, maybe he did."

"Then… Victoria flew at him; she pulled him off of me… She killed him, she ripped him apart, in front of my very eyes. I could see it even though I was changing. His face in the flames..."

"Alice didn't even fight with him, she kneeled there and screamed for him. She kept shouting his name over and over again. And then… Jasper, you came…"

"I remember you – you ripped her head off… and then it went dark and the fire came, next thing I know I could hear her… Alice. She told me she was sorry, and that she loved him."

"I didn't want to tell you – I didn't know whether she meant as a brother or as more… and I knew you'd be so hurt."

--

He ran.

--

The living room felt empty. Esme, Rosalie and Bella were sitting at the prop dining table in the corner – Bella had repeated her story at Carlisle's request, even though she would rather be searching for Jasper.

"Oh Bella…" Esme gasped. "I'm so sorry."

"Esme, don't be sorry for me. I know he loved me, maybe he loved Alice too, but he did love me." Bella said – a bit too strongly for her own liking – she flashed her adopted mother a quick smile. "I just feel sorry for Jasper…"

Rosalie's eyes drifted towards the glass wall on the opposite side of the room; however Bella caught her obvious apprehension and looked in the same direction, hoping for a sign that Jasper and the men would be coming back.

"He won't hurt Emmett or Carlisle…" Bella said, more for her own assurance than Rosalie's.

"I know." Rosalie said simply.

"He loves them too much…" Esme murmured.

"Well, his notions of love flew out the window tonight, didn't they?" Bella said acidly at no-one in particular.

"Carlisle and Emmett will find him, Bella." Rosalie said smoothly. "They will bring him back, before he can hurt himself."

"Or anyone else…" Esme added.


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHORS NOTE –** **Thank you for all the lovely reviews! So, as a special gift – here is a short chapter of complete and utter Jasper angst – I know you all love sad Jasper!**

**The next full chapter will be up shortly – either tonight or tomorrow afternoon – so once again, thank you for the love and keep on reading and reviewing!**

**--**

Rosalie found him first. She knew where he would be – the only place that he knew was private, where no else would look for him, well almost completely private. The others wouldn't come here to look for him; they didn't believe he was capable of controlling himself enough to be here.

She could feel the burn in her throat as she approached the place were he was sitting, he looked so vulnerable. Jasper had enough sense to keep his distance, Rosalie could see his chest locked into a still state, not daring to breathe even after all his years of practise.

She sat down on the bench next to him without speaking a word. Her eyes scanned the park in front of them – it was relatively empty due to it being early morning, a lone jogger strolled past seeming to have given up on the exercise. Rosalie could smell his scent – Wet paint, coffee granules and a dousing of sweat – for the first time in her vampire existence she felt physically sick.

"Why are you here?" Jasper asked after a moment of silence between them.

"I was afraid…" Rosalie said "I thought…"

"You thought I would kill a human?" Jasper laughed sourly.

"No, that isn't what I meant." Rosalie said quietly.

"Well then what did you mean?" Jasper spat. "You know I try my hardest not to get worked up over humans… You've seen me here, I come here to help myself, I don't want to be a monster all the time!"

"I know, Jasper." Rosalie said to him, still staring away from him.

"And yes… Emmett and Carlisle did find me." Jasper laughed again, his normal personality had almost completely disappeared leaving behind an empty, damaged shell that wasn't him.

"What did you do?" Rosalie asked.

"I didn't do anything…but that doesn't matter, I wanted to hurt them! I am so sorry, I don't want to go back there; they don't need me like this. They don't need me without Alice." Jasper said.

"Jazz, how did you get away from them?" She asked.

"I don't know…" He admitted, the fear he felt pulsing from him, hitting Rosalie repeatedly – but the whole family had enough experience to know when the emotions they felt weren't all theirs.

"What has Alice done to you?" Rosalie murmured to herself. "She has destroyed you, Jazz. Your family loves_ you, _you're our brother. You think you're a monster without her… you're not! You just being here, in this park, with humans shows you that you're not a monster. If Edward had just loved Bella…"

"It was not Edward's fault!" Jasper yelled. The birds flew from the trees surrounding them. "He loved Bella."

"Jasper, please. I need to tell you something, but I can't tell you here." Rosalie moaned.

"I am not coming home." He growled.

"Jasper… come home." Rosalie said. "We can talk about this there, everyone is really worried about you."

"I don't want to come home. It is not my home!" Jasper muttered angrily.

"Well, you know they'll come and find you, Jazz." Rosalie threatened, she knew Jasper had the mentality of a child at the minute, and that the last thing he wanted was for Emmett and Carlisle to show up.

"I just want dad." Jasper whispered to his adopted sister.

"Dad?" Rosalie asked incredulously

"Carlisle. I want Carlisle." Jasper amended.

--

"How can you stand it Carlisle?" Jasper asked slowly.

"Stand what, son?" Carlisle said, he knew that Jasper was fighting the urge to call him dad again. He and Esme really did care for the others as their own children; they tried to be there in their hours of need, whatever their need was.

"The blood." Jasper added simply.

"It's a struggle, I'm not going to lie." Carlisle started. "The constant throbbing burn in your throat never lessens. It will always be there. No matter how bad it sounds though, it gets easier to live with…"

"If you can call this life." Jasper muttered.

"And how is this _existence_, son?" Carlisle asked, deep down he knew exactly the answer he would give. Jasper shuddered.

There was a minute of silence. The sun was beginning to rise; the shade they were sat in was slowly beginning to become risky. It was true what Carlisle had said, the burn never lessened to him, there were times when he could scarcely control the animal – but he would never show his family this, he knew how extremely hard all of his children found it, especially the broken soul sitting next to him.

"I don't want to feel like this." Jasper answered simply. "I thought I'd found love and happiness, but I didn't, it was a lie."

"The happiness and love wasn't all down to Alice. You had a family for the first time, and you still do." Carlisle touched Jasper's hand, trying to transfer the positive emotions to his son, to help him believe. "It's getting light… come home?"

Jasper half-smiled as he stood up immediately.

"Yes, but I need to hunt." He said.

"I'll arrange a proper trip soon, when you're ready." Carlisle said, checking around to see if there were any humans that could see them both. "Let's run – the sun is coming now."


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHORS NOTE – SHORT CHAPTER AGAIN, BETA'D BY THE LOVELY Linwe-Ancalime, I AM TRYING TO UPDATE THIS STORY REGULARLY… BUT PLEASE BE PATIENT!**

--

Carlisle sat on the sofa, with Esme on one side and Jasper on the other. His fingers interlaced with his wife's, her head resting on his shoulder. Jasper was hunched into the far corner – as far away as he could get without leaving the sofa. His knees were curled up into his chest, his head resting on his knee caps.

They were waiting for Emmett, Rosalie and Bella to return from an impromptu hunting trip, pretending to watch a cheap movie on the television.

"Dear, why am I feeling nauseous?" Esme asked Carlisle. He glanced at Jasper, who hadn't reacted at all to the comment, before turning back to Esme. Their eyes met and they exchanged a look of understanding.

Esme thought he looked so broken sitting there, holding onto himself. His golden irises swirled with black but were vacant and lifeless. His blonde hair covered his handsome, angular face – perfectly framing his jaw, making him look like a cherub.

"Jasper, are you feeling okay?" Esme asked him, the concern ringing in her voice.

He didn't turn his head towards her, or make any other signs to show he had heard her other than a quick nod of the head. The nausea stopped abruptly.

"Only I felt a little sick a minute ago…" Esme continued. "And I haven't felt that in all my years as a 26 year old."

"Sorry." Jasper said shortly, ducking his head before resting it back on his knees.

"What made you feel that way? Of all the emotions…" She pressed, trying to draw a response out of him. Esme was curious about him broadcasting a typically "human" emotion in his moments of pain.

Before he could give an answer, Emmett, Bella and Rosalie came through the front door, immediately gathering in the living room. Emmett sat on the black leather loveseat, Rosalie climbing onto his lap. Bella, being the almost odd one out, sat cross-legged on the floor opposite the two seats.

"Where is Edward's piano?" Bella asked casually.

"Esme and I relocated it to your room. I hope you don't mind." Carlisle said almost softly. "We thought you'd want to treasure it…"

The room fell silent as everyone stared into space. It remained like that for two entire hours, no one wanted to break the silence. Emmett's hands sat perfectly still on Rosalie's hips, Carlisle and Esme's hands stayed intertwined, Jasper remained hunched up into the corner of the couch and Bella sat staring into the empty space where the grand piano had once stood.

--

"Rosalie, I believe you had something to tell us." Carlisle finally said, shattering the silence. His voice was leading and encouraging. Rosalie immediately understood that Jasper had told Carlisle about their whole conversation, and that of course she would have to share it at some point.

"Yes. But…" She said, trailing off. "Jasper and Bella aren't going to like this."

Without fully comprehending, Carlisle caught onto what Rosalie was implying.

"Jasper, do you feel like moving to sit next to Esme for me?" He asked softly, standing up. Jasper shuffled along without looking up at his family, before slowly pulling his knees back up into his chest. Carlisle smiled nervously to Rosalie, before indicating to the seat in which Jasper had been sitting. "And Emmett, can you please sit here?"

"Sure." Emmett said, moving to sit next to Jasper.

"Okay. Bella and Jasper, from what I understand, this information is going to affect both of you. If at any time, you feel that its getting too much," Carlisle said, directing his stare to Jasper in particular "- Just tell someone and we can let you leave."


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHORS NOTE – **

**A LONGER CHAPTER, YAY! **

**AND THANKS AGAIN TO ****Linwe-Ancalime **** AND ****eddiesgirlx**** – YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO AND READ THEIR STORIES!**

**--**

"Alice and Edward were having an affair?" Emmett repeated raising an eye brow in question. He wanted to be sure he had heard her correctly. Rosalie's eyes never moved from their spot on the floor, she simply nodded her affirmation.

The room was once again completely silent. No one dared interrupt to ask any further questions. Everyone except Bella and Rosalie were focused on Jasper, trying to gauge his reaction. He didn't move at all – no denial, no understanding, no emotion. "Bella, did you know about this?" Emmett asked, regaining control of the situation.

"No." She murmured, her quiet words barely reaching his ears.

"Jasper, did you know about this?" Emmett asked tenderly.

"No." He whimpered. It came out as more of a shudder than a spoken word, as if it were the sound of a bleating lamb rather than an invincible vampire.

"Can I assume that no one here knew about this, except for Rosalie?" Emmett asked, all his usual lack of tact had disappeared, instead the good cop Emmett had taken over and everyone was grateful.

Carlisle and Esme both nodded – Rosalie had been the only one.

"Rose…" Bella said timidly "Did they _sleep_ together?"

"Yes." Rosalie murmured , once again her eyes trained on the floor. This wasn't her dirty secret to tell, but she had no choice. She wanted Jasper and Bella to return to their normal selves, to be the way they were – however impossible that might be. For one, Bella's heart no longer beat, she was a vampire; one of the family in all aspects. And Jasper, he was more broken than he had ever been before – of all the monstrosities he had seen, for the thousands he had killed, he had always been the Jasper that they had come to love – but what now?

"In our bed?" Jasper's growl struck the living room although he remained as still as stone. "Tell me! Was it in our bed?"

"I don't know, Jasper…" Rosalie admitted. Jasper twitched menacingly, like the werewolf Jacob used to before he phased. His hands shaking and twisting tightly together as if to stop them from lashing out.

"Da- Carlisle, may I be excused?" Jasper said – his usual serenity returning though now it was laced with sadness and depression.

"Emmett, can you accompany your brother please." Carlisle said, not as a question more of a request.

"No…" Jasper said, the silent tears approaching like an impending thunder storm. "I want Esme to come… Please, I promise I won't hurt her…"

Carlisle looked to his wife, whom Jasper was now leaning against on the couch. He understood but was still not keen on the idea. He knew in his deepest heart that Jasper would rather have Esme there, because he could not hurt a woman, and that if he snapped she would be far safer than if it was Emmett with him.

"That's fine, dear." Esme said, standing up and offering to take Jasper's hand in her own – he shook his head slightly and drew his hand to his side. He stood up smoothly and quickly left the room, moving rapidly up the staircase. "It _will_ be okay. He just needs to calm down."

"I love you, darling." Carlisle said as she too left the room. Before she had reached the top of the stairs, she turned and blew a kiss to him.

--

"So, Edward and Alice have been having a relationship for how long?" Emmett asked Rosalie. He had moved next to his wife now that Jasper was no longer there. Bella and Carlisle had taken seats on the couch.

"Alice said at least 5 years." Rosalie said – more confident now that Jasper wasn't there, sitting like a ticking time bomb. "So before Bella was on the scene…"

"Well that's alright then" Bella said sarcastically.

"How could that have happened?" Emmett said so low pitched, that it was almost a growl in his chest. "Under our own roof…"

They all turned to Carlisle at the same time, 3 faces ranging from false amusement to rage – he didn't really have an answer for Emmett, a way to console Bella or even a reassurance for Rosalie.

"Carlisle…" Rosalie started.

"Rosalie, I believe that it was around 5 years ago that it probably started – can you remember the song that Edward wrote on his piano? The love song?" Carlisle tried to unravel it all inside his head, and certain strings felt familiar now that he thought about it.

"The one that he said was written without anyone in mind…" Rosalie confirmed, suddenly understanding the whole time line.

"The piano." Bella laughed maniacally. The others turned to look at her immediately, maybe she was cracking up. "The piano."

"What about the piano, Bella?" Emmett asked.

"The piano!" She repeated louder, almost shouting. "I DON"T WANT IT IN MY ROOM! Get it out of there!"

"Bella, we can move it later…" Carlisle said. "We shall move it once we get to the bottom of this…"

There was a roar above them, anger exploding from every available space in the room. Time moved slowly, but no one could react. The sound of smashing glass, the window plate in Bella's bedroom. Next they heard Esme's rushed and urgent words echoing all of their individual worries. Finally, they say the grand piano falling towards the grass outside of the house – smashing into thousands of pieces, tens of thousands of pieces. Time sped up again.

--

"Are you okay?" Esme kept repeating. "Jasper… are you okay?"

"Me?" Jasper said calmly. "_I_ am fine."

The others burst into Bella's bedroom, knocking the door of its hinges. Carlisle pulled Esme away from Jasper and assumed a defensive position in front of his mate. Emmett and Rosalie crouched close to the floor, waiting for Jasper to attack first – so that they'd have the chance, if needed, as a pair to bring him down.

"Jasper!" Bella gasped. "What did you do?"

He turned his head towards her, his chest still again. Not breathing, even though there were no humans for miles. His face was smooth, but his eyes were ablaze – the animal literally pacing behind the cracked glass, waiting for more weakness. Unexpectedly, he ducked his head and swallowed the venom in his mouth.

"I…I'm sorry – I didn't mean to destroy it." Jasper stuttered. He looked at Bella, almost begging for her forgiveness with his eyes alone. "I didn't mean it, please forgive me!"

"Jasper…" Bella laughed, the others turned to look at her. The threat of Jasper being outweighed by their curiosity of her response. "It's okay… I didn't want the piano. In fact, I'm glad you destroyed it."

"You are?" He gulped again.

"Yes" Bella beamed, her smile illuminating her entire face. "Did you not hear me say that I didn't want it?"

"No." He said, allowing himself a small smile. "I was trying not to listen."


	7. Chapter 7 Filler

The room felt empty around her, even though there were clothes scattered all over the floor. She had ripped her wardrobe apart in mere seconds. The mirror on the wall was shattered, casting her reflection in complete distortion, but she still looked beautiful.

Bella laid face-down on the bed. Her head firmly underneath a pillow, as if to smother her gentle sobs – but she knew all her family could hear her. His CD collection still covered an entire wall, hundreds of cases lined up so neatly that if one had been moved it would be instantly noticeable. From Claude Debussy to the Beatles, Oscar Peterson to Frank Sinatra – the record of the decades past, through all the time he had lived and loved.

The sobs were slowing now. Even with infinite energy and time, they would have to cease, she was just waiting for that moment to face her family. The clarity inside her brain was holding together enough for her to think about Edward and Alice. The love rats. If she hadn't been turned… Death would have been her path of choice – a life with Edward was a life not worth living.

She was startled by a gentle hand placed on her shoulder.

"Bella?" A rough voice enquired.

"Yes, Jasper." The tremors shook her soft voice as she answered.

"Can I lie down with you?" His voice once again was nervous and rough, almost as if he was reluctant to say the words.

"Haven't you got your own bed?" Bella asked.

When he didn't reply straight away, she moved her head from under the pillow to look at his face. Jasper's face was screwed up in pain, the lines of strain appearing in his immortal façade.

"Oh…" Bella murmured.

"Yeah. I kinda don't want to even be in our room…" Jasper tried to smile. "That's where they broke our hearts."

"Oh, Jasper. I am so sorry." Bella said, realising Jasper was still perched uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. "Of course, lay down."

He flashed a quick but perfect smile, before rapidly removing his boots and manoeuvring onto the bed. He wanted to be close to Bella, but not so close it was intrusive to her. She seemed to sense his predicament, and indicated that he should put his head in her lap. Her fingers wove through his golden locks as she sobbed softly, she didn't realise that he was sobbing too – he had already learned to hide it.


	8. Chapter 8

The phone rang twice before Jasper snatched it from the bedside table. His amber eyes took in the caller ID – Carlisle. He ran his hands through his tussled hair before the phone rang again.

"What?" He growled, flicking the phone open to answer it.

"Alice called again." Carlisle's soothing tone travelled down the phone.

"Again?" He snapped.

"Yes, son." Carlisle confirmed. "She asked for you…"

Jasper glared at the phone in his hands like it was a time-bomb. He wanted to be left alone, that was his plan. That's why he was staying in a cheap, rented motel room – to be in solitude.

"Does she know where I am?" Jasper asked, pulling on his ragged jeans and stood up intending to make a quick getaway.

"Well, yes, I suspect she does…" Carlisle laughed softly. "Let's be fair, not a lot of information escapes her. But Jasper, don't worry about it. She just wants to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, dad." Jasper said coldly. "I'm perfectly fine… life has never been better."

"Jasper?" Carlisle questioned.

"What?" Jasper responded, pulling his tight cream leather jacket on, before shoving his feet roughly in a pair of sneakers. The epitome of fashion, hardly – he had thrown on anything he could find, and hadn't adventured out to buy anything new to wear.

"Why did you leave us?" Carlisle asked softly.

"Do you mean, why did I leave Bella?" Jasper laughed.

"No, son. I mean why did you leave the family?" Carlisle tried to make his voice smile, but Jasper could read the pain in it.

"Well…" He paused, trying to turn his feelings into words. "I just… didn't want to make you all hurt more than you had too… I trashed Bella's piano, even if she did say she hated it, it still doesn't make it right…"

"Jasper, please come home." Carlisle pleaded. "Just come home and talk to us…"

"Whatever." Jasper groaned, snapping the phone shut. He carefully folded the sheets on the bed – he had always wanted to repay anyone's hospitality in any way he could. He peeled off a handful of $20 notes from the small pile in his pocket and slid them under the pillow, way more than enough to pay for his nights stay.

The morning sun hadn't risen yet, so he had more than enough time to reach the outskirts of town at a reasonable speed.

--

"Bella, would you like to hunt?" Rosalie offered, sticking her head around the bedroom door.

"No thanks." Bella said shortly.

"Oh come on…" Rosalie laughed. "It'll be a laugh; we'll catch some bear with Emmett. He always plays with his food…"

"Rose. I said no." Bella snapped.

She hadn't hunted in days; the burn in her throat didn't really rise as one of her priorities. It was always there, a constant ache in the back of her mind, but she couldn't stop thinking about other things.

"Bella, you need to hunt. Your eyes are black." Rosalie said, moving to sit on the side of her bed. "Have you even left the bed in days?"

Rosalie knew the answer anyway, no-one had heard her move an inch – she had stayed perfectly still for 3 days now. Since Jasper had left.

"So what?" Bella groaned.

"Your skin will go all weird if you stay still too long – and you don't want that do you?" Rosalie smiled, trying to get Bella to at least smile.

To her surprise, Bella did smile, if only for a brief second.

"You smiled!" Rosalie laughed gleefully.

"Yeah… I guess I did." Bella said slowly.

She sat up slightly in the bed, taking in her still messy surroundings. Esme had tried to tidy up the room at some point in the past few days, but in the end had given up when Bella refused to respond to anything she had said.

Rosalie looked around at the mess too, the clothes all around the room and the CD's lying in disdain on the floor. Jasper's scent coated the bed. The room had been torn apart even more the night he had left her.

"You miss Jasper right?" Rosalie asked

"Yeah. He made me feel better." Bella tried to laugh it off.

"I know he did, I know." Rosalie said.

"I'm not in love with him…" Bella groaned, reading the implied comment in Rosalie's tone.

"Did you not sleep with him?" Rosalie asked, confused. No-one had been there that night; the whole family had left Jasper alone in the house with Bella, hoping that they could comfort each other.

"Technically, we can't ever _sleep_ together." Bella laughed.

"Not funny, Bella." Rosalie groaned. "Did you have sex? Did you make love? Did you do _it_?"

"No. We never." Bella muttered.

"It wouldn't have been cheating…" Rosalie reasoned.

"I know that! But he's not mine to love, Rose." Bella started to get worked up. "I can't love him; we're just there for each other. Nothing more."

"Okay, Bella." Rosalie said calmly. "But you could both help each other…"

"Love is the last thing on our minds." Bella said.

"What did happen that night then?" Rosalie asked.

"I stroked his hair, while he cried…" Bella said. "Then, he told me he was leaving… He told me Alice had called him…"

"Is that why you trashed the room?" Rosalie questioned.

"No." Bella responded. "I just didn't want Edward to be here, I loved him once you know."

"He loved you." Rose said, touching her hand to her adopted sister's arm.

"But he loved Alice too." Bella snapped.

"People can love more than one person." Rosalie smiled sourly. "Ask Emmett about that sometime, if he tells you about anyone, you have to tell me so I can slap him!"

--

"Alice. Please talk to me – I need to know!" Bella shouted desperately into her cell phone. "I want to know…"

There was still silence at one end of the phone-line, but Bella knew Alice was there, that she was listening consumed with silent sobs.

"You had sex with my husband, Alice… for 5 years… How could you do that!? How could you be so completely stupid!?"

"I saw Jasper with you. It made me mad." Alice's voice burst out.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME THEN!" Bella screamed.


	9. Chapter 9 Filler

The sky was dark, although the stars shone in white brilliance. The whispering trees filled the air with enough noise to mask the silence. The meadow hadn't always been solely Edward's, it used to be used by all of the family – until Edward started moping there, and had made the rest of the family wary of it.

Knee-length, wispy grass hid Jasper from anything that would wander into the clearing. But nothing would wander across him, animals were afraid of him and humans rarely ventured this far into the forest at midnight.

"I'm trying to get through today. I don't want to think about you." Jasper sighed, softly breaking the almost silence. His hand shook around his mobile phone, not as steady as a stone as usual.

"Please, Jazz…" The reply came, a barely audible whisper through the handset. "I don't want you to think about me, I want you to think about the people you love."

"I loved you." Jasper groaned. "But stop calling me, Alice. Stop calling Carlisle. Stop calling everyone!"

"They're my family too." She said simply.

Jasper began fuming silently. Her ignorance baffled him, how could she say that after all this? His heart would have been pounding if it possibly could.

"You, Alice, tore my family apart." Jasper muttered angrily.

"I know and for that I'm sorry…" She trailed off, leaving it as if she wanted to say more but she couldn't bring herself to see it. The only sound for a while was the swishing of the trees and the hypothetical questions inside Jasper's head screaming to be released.

"Alice. Don't. Call. Me. Again." Jasper began to growl, before Alice cut him off.

"I need to speak to you though." She said roughly. "You want to know the truth, don't you?"

"Tell someone that cares. All I need to know is that you slept with my brother! You had sex with Edward…" Jasper growled again. "And you told Bella that it was because you knew I'd love her!"

"I saw you Jasper. You loved her." She replied solemnly.

"I had never met her… Edward fell in love with her, not me." Jasper argued.

"I know, Jazz. But I was in love with Edward." Alice said sadly. "He was so beautiful, he was so tender… I loved everything about him. Don't get me wrong, I was in love with you too, but it wasn't the same – he was an angel, Jasper. You were the devil."

"I hate you." Jasper growled.

"I'm sorry." Alice said simply.

"Don't phone me again. Please. Have some respect." He murmured, shaking his head and causing the dew in his hair to drip down his face. His chequered shirt clung to his muscular body, damp with the morning wetness.

"I can't promise you that, Jazz." Alice said after a moment of silence.

"And don't call me Jazz." He laughed sourly.

"Okay, I love you." She said, ending the conversation.

--

The mobile phone cracked as it hit the tree trunk a few metres away. There fragments scattered around, the force causing them to rebound at enormous speeds.

"I HATE YOU!" Jasper yelled, as loud as thunder in a black sky. The noise bounced from tree to tree, echoing deep into the forest.

About a mile away, Bella, Emmett and Rosalie stopped dead in their tracks, hearing the outburst loud and clear.


	10. Chapter 10

"It's nice to have you back, son." Carlisle called as Jasper timidly opened the front door of the house. He looked a complete mess, the same clothes he had left home in days ago still hung to him. The blackness of his eyes made his face pale and gaunt. He stepped gingerly into the living room – Bella lay on the sofa, head in Emmett's lap, her eyes closed in imaginary sleep.

It was too much; Jasper made to back out the door, but as soon as his foot moved backwards Bella's eyes snapped open. A deep golden swirl that their entire family had adopted.

"Jasper Whitlock Hale!" Bella laughed "Don't you dare take another step towards that door!"

Carlisle and Emmett began to chuckle as Jasper's eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened significantly.

"W-what?" He stuttered.

"Come here, now." Bella said, patting the spare seat that she had created my sitting up and budging against Emmett. She sensed the hesitance that he was sending to the room in waves. "Please…"

"Erm, okay…" He smiled nervously before moving to sit next to her. He perched at the edge of the seat, keeping his head down so he didn't have to make eye contact with anyone in the room.

"Relax!" Bella insisted, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him back into the seat. Her hands lingered that little bit too long to be comfortable for Jasper's liking, so he gently and softly angled himself so she had to release him.

"Where've you been hiding then, bro?" Emmett asked.

"Hotel." Jasper answered quietly.

"How'd you pay for that?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"Money." Jasper muttered, before he produced a broad grin.

"Well duh-" Emmett laughed, reaching round Bella to punch his brother in the arm playfully. "I knew that! But how'd you get the money…?"

"I robbed a bank." Jasper grinned. All the positive emotions had flooded his mind and he became completely infatuated by them.

"You did not!" Carlisle groaned, half-expecting him to be telling the truth.

"No, dad. I didn't rob a bank… But, I kind of erm… sold my wedding ring to a pawn shop." Jasper admitted, waiting for the onslaught of criticism.

"Good for you, bro!" Emmett laughed.

"We missed you round here." Bella smiled softly, looking at Jasper's seemingly reformed character. "Just do me one favour…"

"What?" Jasper inquired, hoping she'd ask him never to leave her sight again.

"If you're gonna break your phone next time, make sure you do it during a thunder storm… All the humans in Forks could hear that smash!" She said.

"Yeah… okay…" Jasper smiled weakly.

--

"It's not like I even love her…" Jasper said to himself. The sofa was comfortable as he sunk into it, he wished for the solace of sleep, but knew it would never come to him – he was cursed in more ways than one. "Humans lose their mates all the time… and they never decide to be as tragic as me… God, I'm so pathetic…"

"You're not pathetic." Emmett called from upstairs. Jasper hadn't realised he'd been home at the time, he was too wrapped up in his own despair. "You'll realise that she's the one missing out soon enough…"

"Okay, Emmett. Thanks for interrupting my private moment." He laughed softly, not really meaning to offend his brother.

"It's alright, bro. I'm glad to be of service." Emmett chuckled. "It's just a good job it wasn't Rose up here… or then you'd be in for the whole soppy film and tissues business."

"For the first time ever, I'm glad it's you, Emmett." Jasper laughed.


	11. Chapter 11

"Bella, how have you been?" Jasper asked, reclining back next to her on top of the bed. Emmett had talked him into it, had told him to go and see her and if he didn't he would make Bella come and see him instead.

"Jazz, you just told me off for asking you that!" Bella moaned.

"But _everyone_ has been asking me that!" Jasper laughed.

Bella giggled, grabbing his arm and pulling him down so that they were face to face lying next to each other. Bella's eyes met his as she struggled not to laugh and to keep a serious expression as Jasper's sneaky smile grew on his lips.

"Jasper… I have an important question for you…" Bella started in her most alluring tone. She could see his eyes widen. The tension was building slowly between them as she kept him hanging on for her question. "Jasper, how have you been?"

"Oh lord!" Jasper shouted.

"Sorry, I had to…" Bella began to laugh.

"Bella are you okay? So Bella are you okay? Are you okay, Bella?" Jasper began to shake with silent laughter, while roughly but perfectly singing to her.

"I didn't peg you down as a Michael Jackson fan…" Bella grinned.

"I'm not." He smiled slowly, his voice still again. "I was never much of a music fan… but I can actually play a bit of guitar…"

"Really? What kind of guitar?" Bella asked intrigued.

"Acoustic. Especially, erm, country and western." Jasper blushed, his cheeks not actually able to flush, but his voice portraying his shyness.

"You'll have to serenade me one time…" Bella smiled.

"I will be sure to." He said, allowing Bella to slowly move her hand onto his as he lay completely still.

"You have guitar player's fingers." Bella commented, tracing her index finger around each of his. Jasper fidgeted nervously, it felt too intimate for him, and it wasn't familiar enough for someone to be complimenting him without actually wanting something.

"Thanks, I think…" He said slowly.

Her eyes slowly dragged down his body. He was so different for her eyes, a new shape to take in. Edward's shoulders had been quite broad and his muscles had been chiselled to perfection, but Jasper was lean, his body less sculpted but still defined.

"It was meant to be a compliment, but you already know that…" She struggled out.

"Yeah, I did." He smiled slightly.

"Can I ask you that serious question now?" Bella asked shyly.

"You mean you didn't really want to know how I am?" Jasper feigned shock and hurt as if he wasn't secretly glad she was doing this. He didn't even know what question was coming, but he knew it sounded serious enough to be important.

"No… well yeah, but… erm…" She stuttered. "Jasper, you ruined the moment!"  
"Come on, ask me…" He re-assured.

"Would it be wrong for me to kiss you?" She blurted out before she could stop herself. The silence settled for a second, allowing the doubts to sink in. She opened her mouth, twice like a goldfish. "Sorry…"

Jasper's lips slammed against hers before she could speak anymore. His hand moving up to her shoulder as they continued to press against hers. He pulled back slowly, after realising she wasn't kissing back.

"I'm sorry… was it not what you wanted?" He gasped breathlessly.

"Huh?" She said, eyes unfocused.

"I didn't mean it, hit me if you want. Kick me out, I deserve it. I'm sorry, Bella… I'm so sorry." Jasper began to move off the bed.

"Jasper!" She laughed.

"What?" He asked, pausing.

"Shut up, and kiss me!" She said, pulling Jasper back onto the bed by his shirt collar.

--

**A/N – Sorry, I didn't want to write this at the beginning to spoil your fun, but thanks for reading people! The more reviews I get, the quicker I write… and I know this chapter is short etc. But I am hoping to post another sometime tomorrow to make up for it… x**


	12. Chapter 12

Bella's smile spread across her entire face, as wide as a Cheshire cat's and matching the man's laying beside her. The kiss had broken down barriers between them, taking all the angst and hurt from both of them and turning it into a single action. Her hand had wound itself in his tight sandy locks, and his hand had placed itself tenderly against her hip.

"Well, I think…" Bella began but stopped when Jasper's hand moved from her hip and pressed softly against her lips to shush her.

"Enjoy the moment." Jasper said calmly.

"You're leaving again aren't you?" Bella said quietly, pushing his hand away firmly with the hand she originally had curled into his hair. Her eyes left his and her smile faltered.

"What makes you think that?" He asked, propping himself up on his elbow, so that he could see her face better now that she'd turned slightly.

"You always leave me." She laughed quietly.

The embarrassment radiated from her and flooded into Jasper's system. He ducked his head, like his normal sign of him withdrawing emotionally. The muscles in his chest tightened seven-fold and he struggled not to gasp for the unnecessary air around him.

"I'm sorry. I'm not leaving." He said after an eternity.

"Thank you." Bella said simply.

"Why is it a good thing I'm not leaving? I cause so much trouble for this family, all of the time… I'm a burden, the weak link…" Jasper said desperately, ducking his head again.

Bella noticed this time and shifted her body again to face him properly. Her golden toffee eyes staring into his slightly blackened ones. Esme had been forcing him to drink warm animal blood out of a plastic mug, as he'd refused to leave the house to hunt since he had returned.

"Erm…" Bella started.

"There isn't a reason. I'm so useless…" Jasper butted in but Bella quietened him by using the same gesture as he had, pressing her index finger against his lips. After a second she knew what she wanted to say.

"Because… Jasper Hale, I think I love you…" Bella smiled weakly.

"I… I… yeah, I love you too." Jasper admitted.

"I'll admit it, Jasper; I've learnt to love you." She explained. "Edward preoccupied me too much to ever let me spend time with you… or the rest of the family. But you are the one I should have…"

"I've always loved you." Jasper said simply. "But I was in denial."

"So I'm worth denial, eh?" Bella laughed, rolling onto her back to let Jasper have a private moment without her watching every flick of his eyes, every move his mouth made to create a sound.

"Oh… I didn't mean it like that…" He gasped, mistaking her movement for a sign of feeling rejected.

"You're meant to be the empath!" Bella groaned again, wondering how he could misread the playful emotions flooding from her every pore.

"Oh." He laughed, sensing her emotions properly.

"So…" Bella said after he had fallen silent for too long to be bearable.

"So…" Jasper copied her.

"What do we do?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Jasper questioned. "We could go out to hunt if you want… or I could take you shopping, actually I _hate_ shopping, what am I on about?"

"I didn't mean that, silly." Bella giggled, pulling Jasper's free hand onto her hip again. "I meant like, where do we go now? What's our relationship status?"

Jasper thought for a moment. Bella became entranced by the way his hand traced and stroked the skin that was between her jeans and her vest top. He was dazzling her without even having to look, without having to care – something she could get used to.

"I think we should take it slowly…" He said softly.

"Okay. Why?" Bella couldn't help wanting to know why he was apprehensive about having a relationship. It seemed logical to her, it wasn't payback for what Alice and Edward had done, it was love. The past didn't matter anymore; she just wanted him.

"It's still in my head, Bella. All this stuff, all the hurt and all the anger. I don't want to bring it onto you." He said cautiously.

"If you don't feel ready for a relationship, we can wait." Bella tried to comfort him.

"I don't want to wait!" Jasper said playfully.

"We don't even need to date…" Bella continued trying to comfort him.

"You're the woman. You're meant to be all up for the dating and the holding hands and the telling the parents…" Jasper laughed.

"I'm not the typical woman. Let's be fair." She giggled.

"Bella…" Jasper said slowly.

"What is it, Jasper?" Bella said, still not looking at him, but now holding his hand in hers. Her other hand had found his face, and was slowly stroking down the side of his cheek.

"Can I kiss you again?" He smiled.

"Darlin' there is no need to ask." Bella imitated the southern drawl that she sometimes heard him use when she used to catch him talking to himself when he thought he was alone in the house.

In one swift movement, he was on top of her. His weight supported on his arms that were placed either side of Bella's shoulders. His lips crashing tragically against hers, this time they were fighting back as her hands locked around his waist. They battled with their lips until finally Bella allowed Jasper's tongue to dip into her mouth as she playfully closed her lips around it.

His eyes were barely open as the lust balled into him, making the kiss turn into a fiery make-out session. Bella pulled him down on top of her, so that Jasper could put his hands under her head and control the kiss. Eventually, the kiss turned into a series of small chaste pecks.

"Jasper!" Carlisle's voice shouted up the stairs. "Hunt now!"

Jasper rolled off of Bella carefully, before moving one of his hands onto his groin, the other one still under her head.

"Erm… you go downstairs first?" He asked Bella, chuckling.

"Yeah, I think that's best." Bella nodded smiling, realising what Jasper was meaning.

"Thank you…" He said as she climbed gracefully from the bed and made towards the door, smoothing her hair under her hands as she went.

"Bella." Jasper said quietly as she reached the door. "I love you so much…"

"I love you too." She grinned.

**A/N – Thank you all for reading once again. There is a poll on my profile page about song choices for Jasper's serenade – alternatively, leave a note in a review or message me if there's a particular song you like. I'll check them all out for definite and whichever one I choose will mean that the winner gets a dedication!**

**x**


	13. Chapter 13

Days had passed since their first kiss, but the routine was beginning to carve itself into the stone of their lives. Things hadn't travelled further than steamy make-out sessions, ending in either Emmett dragging Jasper forcefully from the room because he had drowned the whole house in lust or Jasper clamming up every time Bella attempted to put her hands under his shirt.

"Why not Jasper?" Bella groaned as once again Jasper froze on the sofa.

He pulled himself off of her and refixed his shirt, yanking it down at the back to cover his exposed skin. Bella's face dropped as she subtly caught her breath after the few minutes of intense kissing. He pressed himself into the corner of the sofa, but placed his hand on her leg.

"I just can't…" Jasper said quietly.

"But why not, babe?" Bella pressed. "I don't get it."

"My scars…" He admitted, his expression turning into his poker face. No hint of emotion threatening to break through.

"I've seen your scars before, the ones on your face." Bella said, before mentally cringing at the thought that she'd never even seen him in a short-sleeved shirt. Her eyes flickered to his face, but she couldn't read the sadness in his eyes.

"Yeah." He said slowly. "But I have more…"

"How many more?" She asked.

"Hundreds? Thousands?" Jasper snorted. "I've never really counted…"

She fell silent again, trying to imagine the torture that her companion had been through. She'd only been bitten twice before, and she'd never forget the amount of pain that she'd experienced. Her hand reached out for him, to take his hand, to show him she loved him – her breath caught in her throat as her hand remained alone – until his lean fingers wrapped around hers.

"Did you kill them all?" She asked.

"Yes… I'm a monster…" He said slowly, rubbing his forehead with his free hand slowly. "I killed every single one that bit me… and probably hundreds more…"

"But you're not like that now." She said as a statement rather than a question.

"No – no one has bitten me in a couple of years now." He laughed.

"Well, that is good news." Bella smiled slightly, holding his hand tighter. "But seriously… why do you hide them?"

"Because -" Jasper said slowly. "They are repulsive."

"Show me." Bella requested boldly.

He looked at her like she had grown an extra head, before slowly shaking his head.

"Why not?" She asked.

"I hate them… I never ever look at my own body, not even in the shower. Alice used to actually be _disgusted_ by them… She couldn't even look at me naked, if she didn't want something from me… She said they made me look like a rogue." He began ranting almost sadly.

"They are nothing to be ashamed of, Jasper." Bella said simply.

"Yeah, okay." He nodded, pretending to accept what she said. But Bella could feel the waves of shame gently lapping at her mind, his attempts at trying to hide it failing short.

"Did they hurt?" She asked. "I'm sorry for the 20 questions but I never had the chance to ever ask you before."

"Not really, the pain gets bearable after the first hundred or so." He tried to laugh it off. His hand moved onto the outside of their strange gesture, and he squeezed gently, as she had done.

"You know what, Jasper. I am sure they are nothing at all to be ashamed of, you were in a dark place, but you did your job well!" Bella tried re-assuring him again.

"You really want to see?" He asked, his eyes avoiding hers as they swept across the room nervously.

"Yes." She said without pause.

He didn't give her a comment, just leaned forward slightly so that he could unbutton his silvery blue shirt. His hands numbly fumbled down his buttons, slowly revealing parts of his pale and toned chest.

Bella wanted him to stop, his shame now freely flowing from him, but it was so beautiful that she couldn't help herself just watching him. Small raised half crescents gathered all over his body, concentrated around his throat – where all vampires instinctively attacked for – he had been right, there were hundreds of them, if not thousands. She reached out slowly to try and place a finger on his abs, but he stopped her by wrapping his hand around hers once again.

"Jasper…" Bella said. "They're… beautiful."

"There are more." He said simply, flashing his teeth in a slightly animalistic and feral smile.

"You're gonna show me?" She asked.

"If you are ready for them." He muttered, peeling off his shirt, so that he could throw it behind him. The shiny piece of material landing where Edward's piano used to stand.

--

"I don't get it…" She murmured.

"What's not to get?" He groaned, thinking that she would immediately understand what the scars gathered around his wrists were.

"How? Why?" Bella whispered.

"This existence did not feel worth living at many points in the past." He grimaced, resisting the urge to run from the room or at least cover them. "But there is only one way for a vampire to die… so I just had to live with the pain… and that suited me just fine…"

"Can I touch them, please?" Bella asked.

"Okay." Jasper said wincing. No-one had ever touched these ones before, except for Carlisle. Carlisle and Edward were the only ones to truly know of his pain when he was in his darkest places. Edward had gone to Carlisle and told him that my mind was a horrible place, and that it was distracting him – but Carlisle had taken it as a sign his adopted son needed help, and so had taught Jasper to confide in him.

Bella's hand lightly touched his wrist, his skin feeling warm under her vampire touch, the scars knitted under her palm, an unreadable transcript.

"You know…" Jasper started "I used to tear chunks out my arms… wait until it healed, and then do it again… just to feel the pain…"

"I know, Jasper." Bella said.

"Do they not repulse you? Do I not make you feel sick?" He asked her, slowly untensing his muscles under her touch.

"No, I love you. Every inch of you." She smiled at him.

He ducked his head, avoiding her warm eyes that were searching for his. But she placed her hands on his head and slowly moved his head so that they were staring directly into each other's eyes.

"Jasper." She said.

"Bella." He said back.

"I love you so much. I love every single part of you – mind _and_ body." She told him sincerely, touching her lips to his wrist and then to his forehead.

"I love you more." Jasper grinned.

"I love you more." Bella repeated.

"Impossible!" Jasper laughed.

"Prove it…" Bella said, pulling Jasper back onto her, as they were before their little exchange. This time shirtless and increasingly lustful.

He didn't speak before his lips met hers with vigour and unreleased tension, her hands slowly tracing out the scars patterned on his back. Jasper pulled back for a moment, a slow smile spreading across his lips.

"I'll prove it for real, as soon as we are alone." He smiled, before beginning to kiss her again, like before only even less unrestrained. His slender fingers working their way down towards her ass, a move he'd never used regularly on Alice, because she didn't like it.

He smirked into the kiss as Bella moaned into his mouth when his fingers reached their destination and she pushed her hips up into his. His jeans were now tight around his visible arousal, but he didn't care, he just wished that at some point soon, he wouldn't have to run to jump in the shower every time this situation arouse.

Jasper began to pull away before they got too carried away, he wanted to do everything properly, be a gentleman. He would not do _this_ with her right here, on the sofa – that's what beds were created for.

"One of these days, Bella, I am going to show you just how much I love you." He groaned just before Emmett ran down the stairs, his face contorted with anger and the efforts it was taking him to run back up to Rosalie.

"But not while I'm in the bloody house, unless you learn to control your powers! This is annoying, Jasper. It's like having a constant hard-on, just because you don't want to ruin your little purity and gentleman way of living…" Emmett snarled.

"Whatever, bro." Jasper laughed, jumping off the sofa, leaving Bella looking mildly amused at Emmett's little outburst, put also angry at the interruption.

"No shirt?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"Well done, I'm glad you can finally see again!" Jasper smirked, laughing at the dumbstruck expression on his brother's face.

"Who are you and what have you done with Jasper?" Emmett asked turning to face Bella, who was still lounged across the sofa.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N – New chapter eh? Looking for the lemons? My mind is drifting to all the possible things I can dream up… but ya know, this is the last chapter before the lemons! Just a warning that I'll have to change it to an "M" before I post next time… In my own opinion, this chapter is pretty weak, but that's because I'm completely excited about the next chapter!**

"I haven't forgotten, you know…" Bella whispered in Jasper's ear late one night. They were cuddled up on the leather sofa that used to be Edward's in the newly decorated 'study' that had replaced Alice and Jasper's old room. The walls were lined with expensive etchings from the civil war – that the family had no idea how Esme had acquired them. The sofa sat in the corner up against the glass wall running along the back wall, and a thick white shag pile carpet covered the floor. This truly was Jasper's hideout now.

"Forgotten about what?" Jasper asked, as quietly as she had whispered.

"My serenade." She laughed – her laughter sweet to his ear.

"Oh. That." Jasper grinned, running his hand through his untidy hair.

"Yes – that." Bella smiled, turning round to face him on the sofa, instead of spooning with him. She pressed her lips to his, and put her hand on his wrist. This was the spot she loved to touch, to just hold onto.

"I will make good on that offer…" Jasper said before putting his leg between hers and wrapping his arm round her. He shuffled right back, so that his back was touching the sofa cushions. His lips pushed against hers hungrily and she teased him by sucking his bottom lip moodily.

"Now, please." Bella laughed, after moving her head slightly.

"What?" Jasper asked chuckling.

"Play to me now." She laughed again.

"It's a good job I love you." He smiled, placing another small kiss on her lips before clambering off the sofa, and darting out of the room.

Bella could hear him pacing about in the converted attic. His footsteps light but even on the ceiling; she knew he was walking around nervously. But she didn't know why he was nervous – surely it was just a song… nothing for him to worry about?

--

"You know how much I love you?" Jasper said slowly, settling himself on the edge of his seat. His beloved guitar resting on his knee, the strap tugging at his shirt. He had perched an old cowboy style hat on top of his head, ruffling his blonde locks and making him look like the good ol' southern boy he really was at heart.

"No… I don't…" Bella teased.

"I love you so much I put on my special hat." Jasper joked, tipping the brim of his hat to her. Her broad grin said it all. "Anyway… here it goes…"

_And she wonders where these dreams go _

_'Cause the world got in her way_

_What's the point in ever trying _

_Nothing's changing anyway _

She was completely hypnotised by the way his voice weaved around the melody perfectly, his light southern tones accenting all the words just enough for her to go all fuzzy inside. His fingers worked their way slowly along the frets as he strummed softly. The nervousness in his tone had disappeared as soon as he was absorbed into the melody. His signature half-smile appearing as soon as he realised the loving emotions bleeding into the room.

_They press their lips against you _

_And you love the lies they say _

_And I tried so hard to reach you _

_But you're falling anyway_

"Jasper Hale." Bella said simply.

"Bella." Jasper murmured the small amount of embarrassment soaking through in his voice – he was unsure of whether he had done the song justice.

"That was…" She started.

"It's not my usual style, I prefer country and bluegrass." Jasper interrupted her, trying to explain all the faults he imagined she could be thinking of.

"Jasper, it was amazing." She grinned.

"Thank you." He smiled a heart-melting one that made Bella's breath hitch.

"And I love the hat!" Bella giggled, stealing it from his head and propping it on her own. He laughed and gently laid his guitar on the floor to the side of the sofa, before attempting to take the hat off her playfully. She pulled him on top of her, without him putting up too much of a fight.

"You can keep it." He said slowly. "It looks better on you."

"And what will this southern gentleman be without his hat?" Bella said quietly, biting his ear softly. He groaned in response, a response that Bella loved to raise from him every time she touched him.

"I'll be… happy!" Jasper moaned into her neck.

"Happy eh?" Bella questioned, pausing her assault on him and his sense of touch. He saw it as the perfect opportunity to reverse the roles.

Within seconds, he was holding Bella's hands above her head with one strong hand, his mouth so close to hers it was painful for him to not just kiss her. He ran his tongue down her cheek teasingly. Before continuing to run it down her neck, placing small kisses on certain spots he knew would make her shiver.

"Jasper!" She groaned.

"Now it's my turn, cow girl." He smirked.

--


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N – Here it goes… my first *serious* lemon! I've changed the rating to an "M" now, even though technically it should probably have been that rating before. Warning - This may be ****absolutely useless**** or it might turn out pretty good, but ya know how much I love reviews! x**

_Within seconds, he was holding Bella's hands above her head with one strong hand, his mouth so close to hers it was painful for him to not just kiss her. He ran his tongue down her cheek teasingly. Before continuing to run it down her neck, placing small kisses on certain spots he knew would make her shiver._

"_Jasper!" She groaned. _

"_Now it's my turn, cowgirl." He smirked._

**--**

"Hmm, cowgirl?" Bella contemplated, as he placed a small kiss on her collarbone, his fingers gently moving her vest-tops strap to the side. "I think… I like cowgirl."

He looked up at her lustfully. His golden eyes beginning to tint slightly black, even though he had hunted only a day ago. His mouth was pursed slightly, his lips still intending to kiss the air. She hadn't intended to dazzle him, but obviously she had.

"Earth to Jasper." She chuckled, fluttering her eyelashes intentionally. His eyes grew impossibly wider and he broke out into the biggest smile she'd seen in a long time.

"Is now a good time to show you how much I love you?" Jasper grinned cautiously, not wanting to sound too eager. Although the last hour's activities, serenading and making out like horny teenagers – which technically they still were, were mostly Jasper's ideas anyway.

"Yes… unless Emmett or Carlisle are hiding, ready to drag you off me." Bella giggled. "That was really annoying."

"I know. But I was broadcasting my lust to the entire house." Jasper said, regaining his mind after being dazzled. His lips touched her collar bone again as he ended the sentence. She shuddered under his touch.

"Is that a bad thing?" She moaned, her voice husky.

"No." Jasper said, punctuating with another kiss. His hands were now moving all over her body, tracing circles tenderly on her stomach. Bella's breath was already uneven and her mind was focusing on the tingle of her skin every time his fingertips made contact onto it. It wasn't like with Edward, when her heart would jolt at his every touch – this was something better, something more sensual and sexual at the same time.

"Is it a bad thing that I want you to touch me?" Bella moaned again.

"I am touching you." Jasper teased, one hand continuing to trace gentle and tickly patterns over her sensitive skin and the other began to work its way up to her breast, slowly massaging it through the thin material of her top and bra. She couldn't help but moan again and tilt her head back so it rested on the arm rest.

Edward had never done this for her. Although he was the ultimate _gentleman_ in public, the only thing he really cared about in the bedroom was meeting his own needs. He had rarely let her kiss him, which she now thought was a pointer at his other alliance. It was always "too much of a temptation". But at the time, her thoughts hadn't really lingered.

"Touch me more." She said slowly.

"More?" He grinned slyly, placing his head on her stomach, and letting his lips just ghost slowly down it. Her hands twisted into his hair as he reached the line of her jeans on her hips. He smothered a laugh against her silky skin.

"Yes more, please!" She begged, trying to push his head that little bit further but knowing he wouldn't want to rush it. The lust around them was bubbling furiously, but Jasper was one to draw things out and make her wait for the things to come – like the spaces between the first kiss and the next ones.

"Not here." He said, lifting his head from its place on her stomach. His eyes were almost fully black – as dark as coal. They stared at her hungrily, but she knew it was all lust and not because he thought of her as food, like he might have done if she was still human.

"What?" She almost choked.

"The bedroom." Jasper chuckled, his voice rough and deep.

"Okay." Bella said simply, her arms leading him back up so there faces were level and he was holding himself above her. From this position, she could feel the bulge in his pants rubbing against her thighs. She was desperate to make him pay for stopping his little assault on her body, so she lifted her hips up to meet his. He closed his eyes as they touched, and a growl rumbled deep in his throat. She circled her hips once before taking moving them away again.

"Tease." He growled throatily.

"I'm not the tease." Bella laughed simply, pushing him off slowly with her hands square on his chest. In a mere second, Jasper had picked her up into his arms effortlessly. No-one had done this to her since she was a human – she hadn't had anyone to do it in a loving way anymore. Striding to the door, with her in his arms, Jasper stopped and turned.

"Forgot the hat." He murmured – before moving back across the room to pick it up from the floor where it had fallen off during some point in the last few minutes without either of them noticing.

--

His naked skin slipped over hers, as he gently thrust his hips in a constant, repetitive rhythm. Each time their hips met, he would exhale loudly in a ragged gasp. Their tongue battled for dominance in the comfort of Bella's mouth. She tasted like strawberry milkshake to him, the one human drink he could still stomach after all these years. His skin tasted like honey to her; every now and then she would push his mouth away and run her lips down his neck as he adjusted his position. Her hands cupped his ass pulling him that little bit closer to her.

The sounds of their love-making filled the room, and the lust was constantly pulsing around them in huge blasts. Jasper was allowing all his emotions to just flow from him, feeding them straight back to Bella.

One of his hands was pressed between her thighs, rubbing her sweet spot with his finger tips. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer. This was the first time he'd had sex since Edward had died, and he didn't dare go out and find a substitute. He had never been one for quick sex, but that's what Alice had always wanted, so that's what she had got.

"Darlin'…" He whispered into her ear, his thrusting growing more and more frantic, but still restrained and almost polite. His southern tones ringing through his breathless voice. "I'm goin' to…"

"Jasper…" She moaned in response. "Come with me…"

"Oh darlin' so close." He whispered back, before placing his head against the crook of her neck for a mere second. She moved his head back up to where it had been, before taking his bottom lip between hers. She could feel it trembling and twitching as he grew closer and closer to his release. Her legs began to quiver as the heat between her legs got more and more urgent.

One of her hands left his ass and moved between their two bodies, to where his hand was touching her smoothly. She wrapped her hand around his and began to guide him so that he ground his thumb harder against her.

She could feel him begin to shake and tense in pre-orgasmic bliss, his eyelids half-closed and his lip trembling strongly. She was so close too, the combination of his constant movements pressing inside of her in just the right place and their entwined hands driving her over the edge.

She pushed her head back into the pillows and opened her mouth in a silent scream of pleasure, her muscles pulsing around him. He carried on pushing into her in long thrusts, even though she could feel him battling to hold off his orgasm for just 2 moments longer.

He threw his head back and let out an animalistic roar, his body coming to a standstill and the warmness and release spreading throughout his limbs, but mainly concentrated in his groin.

He put his head back into the crook in her neck, lowering his body back against her but not letting his full weight push against her.

"Um… oh… I love you…" He said slowly, the fog of his release still clouding his brain.

"I love you too." Bella stuttered.

"Thankyou…" He murmured, pulling himself out carefully, before rolling off of her and wrapping her arms around her body.

"Hold me. Please." She said, snuggling back against him.

"I'm not letting you go." He smiled, rubbing his hands tenderly over her arms and then tightly cuddling her to him.


	16. Chapter 16

"_I love you too." Bella stuttered._

"_Thank you…" He murmured, pulling himself out carefully, before rolling off of her and wrapping her arms around her body. _

"_Hold me. Please." She said, snuggling back against him._

"_I'm not letting you go." He smiled, rubbing his hands tenderly over her arms and then tightly cuddling her to him._

--

"I need to get up." Jasper said placing a chaste kips on her lips.

"Why?" Bella asked curiously "It's not as if we don't have all the time in the world."

"I just need to get up." He said quietly, clambering out of the bed and carefully pulling his tight jeans up over his bare legs. His skin sparkled in the morning light shining through the glass wall, his chest perfectly pale and seemingly scarless under the beams of light reflecting from him.

"Oh… okay…" Bella murmured, obviously feeling slightly rejected at his wanting to escape from the bedroom after only a short while of affection.

"It's not you." Jasper whispered wanting to say something to reassure her.

"Then why can't you just stay in bed?" She asked refusing to look at him, tucking her head under the white duvet. She didn't want him to feel guilty, but all she wanted was for him just to climb back into bed with her.

"Bella…" He near enough choked. He was stood frozen at the end of the bed. "Don't do this to me…"

"Do what?" Bella asked, still hiding under the duvet.

Jasper moved around the bed and perched himself on the edge of the mattress, at her feet. He placed his hand on her exposed leg and began stroking it gently and soothingly – more to calm himself than her.

"This…" He murmured simply.

"What do you mean?" She said.

"It was a good night." He said almost sobbing. "But I can't do the morning part… It's hard for me…"

Bella pulled the cover back from over her head, and sat up against the headboard. She could see the sadness in his eyes, even if they weren't teary, she could see his emotions shining in them.

"I'm sorry babe." Bella whispered, reaching out and touching his cheek.

"It's not your fault." He sobbed suddenly.

"We don't have to do it again. If that's what you want." Bella said while moving close enough to him to wrap her arm around him.

He turned his head away from her and began to shake in silent tears. His whole body convulsed in quick bursts and his hands wrung together tightly.

"No… no…no…" Jasper stuttered.

"It's okay, calm." Bella said, tightening her hold round him.

"I want you… I need you!" He stuttered. "Don't leave me…"

"I am not leaving you." She said slowly in his ear.

"I can't live… without you…" He sobbed again.

"Jasper Hale." Bella said in her most firm tone, pulling his head towards hers carefully. "I am not leaving you. I am not going to die on you. I am not going to cheat on you."

"Thank you… thank you…" He said weakly, tucking his head into her arm. "I could not ever… _ever_ live without you."

--

The icy water washed over his skin as he stood under the shower head. The scents of orange blossom shampoo clouding his natural scent from reaching his own nose, the lather in his hair sticking his blonde curls to his head. He imagined the droplets running down his face were tears.

The entire negative in his head was slowly bleeding out of him, draining away as he tried to make himself happy. He knew he loved her. She was his and he was hers. If only he had realised that when he had first met her, he could have fought Edward off – but no, then he would be the "cheat".

"I am such an idiot. Don't ruin it, Jasper. Do not ruin this." He whimpered to himself, knowing that Bella was listening to his favourite CD upstairs. "This is the best thing that has happened to you. Do not dare ruin this."

--

She knew the phone was going to ring before it did. The tiny silver device sat in her palm waiting for the vibrations to wake her from her fake slumber. It was easy to "sleep" in the vampire world – all it took was some calm and tranquillity, which few vampires ever truly felt. Yes she was worried about Jasper being upset, yes she was worried about the impending phone call but she was happy that finally she belonged to Jasper.

"Alice." Bella said curtly, picking up on the first ring.

"Bella." Alice answered. "How are you?"

"Okay thanks." Bella said, not bothering to ask how Alice was.

"And Jasper?" Alice huffed.

"He's okay too." Bella answered simply.

"You do realise I know what happened last night…" Alice said slowly, really wondering whether Bella could be so naïve.

"Yes, but Alice, why would I care if you knew?" Bella laughed.

"He's my husband." Alice spat spitefully.

"No. He isn't." Bella said.

"Legally, he is." Alice said sourly.

"He's happy with me, Alice." Bella said.

"I know." She simply admitted.

"Why did you phone?" Bella asked.

"I'm coming home…" Alice whispered.

"Don't ruin this, Alice. Do not ruin this." Bella said in distress, knowing that this could destroy Jasper and her. "Please, I beg you, do not ruin this."

"I'm sorry Bella…" Alice whispered again.

"Jasper… we only just got him home…" Bella begged.

"It's okay; he'll stay, if you tell him to." Alice said. "You tell him to do anything and he'll do it…"

"Do not ruin this." Bella said again.

"And there is someone I'd like you to meet too." Alice added, rather than responding to Bella's slight threat.

"What?" Bella gasped.

"You'll get to meet them soon enough…" Alice said quietly, before ending the call and leaving Bella breathing raggedly at the end of the line.


	17. Chapter 17

"_Do not ruin this." Bella said again._

"_And there is someone I'd like you to meet too." Alice added, rather than responding to Bella's slight threat._

"_What?" Bella gasped._

"_You'll get to meet them soon enough…" Alice said quietly, before ending the call and leaving Bella breathing raggedly at the end of the line._

--

Jasper paced the room, his fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose tightly. Bella was sure there would be a line of threadbare among the thick blue carpet. She had told him about Alice, as soon as he'd gotten out of the shower, and she had warned him about the little "surprise" too.

"Jasper, darling, come and sit down." Bella said softly.

"I can't. I'm way too nervous, I wanna find out who she's bringing with her!" Jasper muttered in a low angry drawl.

"She'll be here soon…" Bella said. "You have to not get mad."

"I'm really trying not to get mad." He laughed. "I _really_ am."

"Come here, darling." Bella said, patting the seat beside her. He struggled with a cheeky smile before immediately moving to sit next to her. The orange blossom scent clung to him, and Bella adored it.

"God, I love the way you smell." Bella grinned, leaning against him.

"Is that the only thing you love?" He whispered cheekily, pressing his lips to the top of her head. "Tell me what you love about me."

"I love your smell. Your hair. Your tendency to kiss me to dazzle me." Bella listed off, turning her head to meet his loving gaze. She was successfully distracting him to stop him from destroying Esme's carpet.

"Is that it?" He laughed.

"Nope, we don't actually have forever." Bella smiled. "Because that's how long it'd take me to tell you why I love you."

--

"Well Jasper…" Alice said shyly. "This is Edward's son."

--

"Carlisle, erm… I think you need to come home from hunting now." Alice said quickly into her mobile phone, without waiting for a reply, she continued. "Bella is holding Jasper down, because he wants to kill me and Edward's son. Yes, I know, Edward does have a son. He's human, yes. Okay, come home please."

--

"H-h-he's human?" Jasper stuttered out.

"Jasper, you can smell him." Bella whispered in his ear, as Jasper glared at Alice who was outside by the river. She was still dainty and well-dressed, but the bundle in her arms choked out a cry every now and then, and it hurt Bella's ears.

"I'm not breathing…" Jasper said, still grasping at Bella's waist to stop himself leaving the room.

"Just inhale once. It doesn't burn too much. I promise you." Bella said, looking at him pleadingly.

"Okay…" He murmured. He inhaled sharply through his nose, to stop too much of the scent making his mouth flood with venom. The smell of baby hit him hard, and he almost jumped from the sofa _– just to have a taste_.

"Darling?" Bella prompted. "What does he smell like?"

"He smells… tasty?" Jasper said unsurely.

"No, his scent. Separate it out." Bella helped him.

"He smells like… erm, melon. And… baby powder… and he smells like Edward did, and a bit like you too…" He whispered, knowing that Alice was walking back towards the house with the small baby.

"So, does he smell tasty anymore?" Bella prompted.

"No" Jasper grinned. "He's a baby."

--

Alice wrung her hands together, as Esme cooed the young Edward into a sense of quiet – although all the vampires could hear the heartbeat, the pulsing of blood and all the human functions they usually could.

"It's Edward's child." Alice said simply.

"You already said that." Carlisle snapped. "Explain."

"Well, Edward kinda slept with a human. And yeah, the baby happened." She said, leaving out all details and making Carlisle even angrier.

"Alice. You turn up here, with a human baby, and you expect us to do what…?" Carlisle asked.

"He's for Jasper and Bella." Alice stated. "Duh."

Jasper and Bella flew down the stairs, bursting into the living room not 2 seconds after the words had left Alice's mouth. Jasper's fists were balled up so tightly that his knuckles looked like they were going to burst, and Bella's teeth were gritted.

"What?" Jasper growled at Alice.

"Jazz… I mean, Jasper, Edward said the baby was meant to go to you and Bella… ya know, after he died and stuff." Alice explained.

"What?" Jasper growled again.

"I'm only here to give you the baby… and then I have to leave again." Alice said slowly, speaking to Jasper as if he was an idiot. "I am not meant to be here, but this is your baby now. Not Edward's. Not mine."

--

"I can't do this…" Bella groaned, dropping to her knees in front of Emmett.

"It's okay, Bells." Emmett said, mirroring her position on the forest floor next to her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"Jasper is going to forgive her…" Bella said. "And I love him…"

"You listen to me." Emmett said while shaking his head. "My brother loves you. You made him happy – you really are the light in his life, Bella. He is not going to leave you, or get back with Alice."

"But the baby…" Bella started to sob.

"Bells, please." Emmett said. "Just let him deal with it, okay?"

"It's my life too Emmett." Bella sobbed into his chest.

"I know, Bells. I know." Emmett said, stroking her hair.

**A/N – Shocked? Disappointed? Let me know. You know that reviews make me happy, and that I try to reply to every single one! And should Jasper welcome the baby with open arms after all the hurt? Or push it away?**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N – I know this is short and stuff, but it's basically a little explanation as to what is going on – if your question doesn't get answered, leave me a review and I'll try to get you a quick reply. I know it's a shock that it's a human baby – but the whole point is to create mystery, and leave questions that will be answered. Thanks for all reading and reviewing! **

**Teaser - ** **"But he said I have to be alone, as punishment for turning Jasper into a… what were his exact words… a nervous, shivering, depressed, wretched excuse for a vampire."**

**--**

"_Jazz… I mean, Jasper, Edward said the baby was meant to go to you and Bella… ya know, after he died and stuff." Alice explained._

"_What?" Jasper growled again._

"_I'm only here to give you the baby… and then I have to leave again." Alice said slowly, speaking to Jasper as if he was an idiot. "I am not meant to be here, but this is your baby now. Not Edward's. Not mine."_

--

Alice bowed her head as Carlisle glared at her. Esme was still gently rocking the small baby to and fro in her arms. Bella had rushed from the house sobbing, and Jasper had made to go after her but was stopped by Alice.

"_No Jasper. Stay here." _Alice had said as Jasper left his seat.

The baby did look like Edward – no matter how impossible it seemed it did have his bronze hair, sticking from all angles of the baby's small head. Its small piercing blue eyes must have been inherited from his human mother, as they were not of Edward.

"Alice. His human mother?" Carlisle said sourly, the disappointment in Alice and Edward burning through his voice.

"Dead." Alice said simply, without emotion. "She was killed in a car crash, and this little one survived. It was magical, Carlisle. I had been looking for him since I left this family, and then I came across him in the nick of time."

"Okay…" Carlisle exhaled. "How did you know where to be?"

"My power." Alice stated matter-of-factly.

"How did you know he is Edwards?" Carlisle asked, sliding his fingers through his tussled blonde hair.

"Well, Edward told me – ya know, before he died." She said almost cheerfully, her bell-like voice showing no sign of sadness. "He only slept with the human girl because he wanted to kill her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it after she'd made love to him."

"Alice, you do realise that means he cheated on you _and _Bella?" Jasper interrupted.

"Yeah." Alice said.

"Aren't you angry?" He asked, his hands tightening on the back of the leather sofa – Esme rubbed his knee softly, willing him to stay calm.

"Not really." Alice laughed slowly. "I mean, I loved him."

"And Bella loved him." Jasper growled.

"But now you love Bella, and she loves you. Happy little family, Jasper. Don't pretend you hate me for leaving you – you ended up with a good deal out of it." She said acidly, staring up at her ex-lover with daggers in her eyes.

"Shut up!" Jasper yelled.

Rosalie grabbed Jasper by the collar of his shirt and led him from the room, knowing that he desperately needed time away from the evil little madam sitting in the living room.

"Carlisle, Edward did tell me that the baby had to go to Bella." Alice said after Jasper and Rosalie were safely out of earshot.

"Did he explain?" Carlisle asked. "I mean, he must have known Bella was going to be absolutely heart-broken."

"No, he didn't explain." Alice huffed. "Well, he knew that Bella was going to get turned into a vampire sometime in the near future, and that if he made her pregnant, she would potentially lose the baby when she turned… So I guess, just throwing it out here, that Edward wanted Bella to have a baby."

Carlisle glared at his adopted daughter again. Wondering how much hurt she could possibly inflict on his family. All the pain that Jasper and Bella had been through had been finally disappearing, but now, all the wounds had been torn back open.

"Don't you want the kid?" Esme asked Alice suddenly.

"No." Alice groaned, shaking her head. "He said it wasn't for me."

"Well, he's not here, is he?" Esme said, not taking her eyes off of the small child that was now asleep in her arms. "And it is going to be a matter of whether Bella wants to keep him; it's all up to her… But if you want him, take him."

"No." Alice said again. "He is not my baby. Edward said he is for Bella and Jasper."

Esme thought for a second.

"So Edward knew that Jasper and Bella would be together?" Esme asked.

"Yes." Alice groaned. "He knew."

"And that's why he had affairs?" She asked.

"No, you don't understand… he loved me, Esme. He loved Bella too, but he still loved me." Alice said, pulling at her hair. "He wanted Bella to support Jasper, and he wanted Jasper to love her."

"Okay…" Esme prompted as Alice fell silent.

"But he said I have to be alone, as punishment for turning Jasper into a… what were his exact words… a nervous, shivering, depressed, wretched excuse for a vampire." Alice said, almost a whisper.

--

"Why does he smell like Bella?" Jasper asked Rosalie, as she kept her hands firmly around his shoulders. He wasn't struggling, and she knew he was calm – but this wasn't a time to take chances.

"Hmm, I noticed that too, Jasper." Rosalie said thoughtfully. "It has her kind of scent that she had when she was human…"

"I know that." Jasper snapped, before ducking his head in shame.

"But it stopped you from wanting to taste the baby's blood, didn't it?" She asked him, ignoring the anger in his tone.

"Yes." He admitted. "As soon as I smelt her, I didn't want to drink from him."

--

"I can't believe him!" Bella yelled into Emmett's chest. Her hands wrapped around his waist so tight that it was actually uncomfortable for him. "I can't believe he cheated on me twice!"

"I know, Bells." Emmett said.

"Why did he do it?!" She shouted.

"Because it's Edward… the idiot… god, I wish he was still alive so that I could rip him apart for hurting you and Jasper so much…" Emmett said his voice swelling with emotion.

"I would kill him first, believe me!" Bella snarled.

"I believe you, Bells. I really do." Emmett said, rubbing his sister's back as her grip got tighter around him.

"Why did he think I wanted a baby?" She shouted. "It's not even as if it's mine! He slept with another human, not just with Alice… argh, I hate him, I really do."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N – Here is a weird chapter for you – it's not a chapter as such, more of a letter to Bella. It's going to be one of the last chapters in this story, so yeah…It should give you your answers to the question you all want to know. Sorry it's not up when I said it would be, I had a bit of bad news at the weekend – this chapter is dedicated to my friend Justin, who died at the age of 17 in a car accident. Sleep tight, buddy. X**

--

_Dear Bella,_

_I don't want you to hate me. I really never deserved someone as loving, perfect and absolutely adorable as you. Even though you could be a stubborn so-and-so, I loved you with all my heart. I couldn't have done anything without you – you made me realise what life was really about – not living without a purpose, not leading a lonely life, but having love._

_If you're reading this now, don't cry. Please don't be upset, and please don't hate me… I never meant to hurt you, ever. I never meant to leave you. It breaks my heart to be even writing this, I'm not myself without you, I can never be myself without you. I know you're happy now, found someone's arms to lie in, my angel._

_The funniest thing happened today; I thought I heard your voice. I know you weren't with me today, but I swear, I heard you laughing on the wind. I almost died, angel, I couldn't believe it. Every second of the day I miss your phone calls to me. That's one of the small things I'll never forget – your wonderful voice. The way you moaned at me to stop being a grouch, the way you comforted me through bad times. When you were there on the other end of that line, I swear the world around me could have crashed around my ears, and I wouldn't have noticed._

_Where-ever you are now, whoever you're with, I know they're taking care of you. I'm sorry things didn't turn out perfectly, my Bella. Anyway, I'm going to speak to my darling like I should, like the old days._

_I met someone today, someone you'll probably hate. Messy brown hair, eyes that you would have adored – so special, a voice that could charm the angel's from the sky, if that were possible. I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to kiss them, they seemed so sad and down, I just wanted them to know it was going to be alright. It still wasn't enough for me. I'm sorry._

_Bella, my darling, I made love to them. I am sorry._

_It's time for me to tell you how much I love you, and that no-one can ever replace you. You truly are the one person in my life I can honestly say I love. I will miss you every single moment of every day, don't forget that. Please be okay, please be happy and well. The sunshine in my life. The stars in my night. That is what you are to me, Bella._

_I love you my darling, sweet, baby Bella._

_Mum._

_--_

**A/N – Yes, if anyone can figure it out, you'll understand why the baby smells like Bella. 10 points to anyone who can. **

**The next chapter will be one of the last, for certain. But please read and review this chapter guys…**

**And if you still don't get it – the baby is Bella's half-brother.**

**x**


	20. Important Authors Note

I HATE SCHOOL SO MUCH!!

I really really want to have all the time in the world to finish off my fanfiction, like right now, but I seriously have no spare time at all just now.

I'm considering dropping out to just to fanfic, haha.

But on a serious note – I'll consider putting this up for adoption, if anyone wants it to play with and continue… But you must submit atleast 500 sample words, if you're interested, lol. And I'll clear time to read it…

Thankyou for all your lovely reviews and messages!! It totally makes my day with every single review…

If no-one has adopted my fic by the end of this school term, I'll definitely give you all 2 mega long chapters to make up for my lack of dedication.

Much love,

Dem.


	21. Chapter 20

**WARNING – Contains naughty words. Jasper/Bella action. Doesn't contain the answers you probably wanted to the last chapter, but I think most of you will like it… I'm all grown up now :) **

**At last! I've gotten round to writing you a chapter… And I'm SO SORRY that I didn't answer all the reviews/messages about my last chapter! I REALLY REALLY AM! I'll make it up to you by giving every single review a teaser for the next chapter!**

**This chapter is for ****JasperAndJill**** and ****NCChris** **and ****XxZeroXxSacrificeXx** **– motivating me is pretty hard, so well done guys! Hahaha.**

**Sadly, still do not own Twilight – I need to work on that…**

--

"_Because it's Edward… the idiot… god, I wish he was still alive so that I could rip him apart for hurting you and Jasper so much…" Emmett said his voice swelling with emotion.  
"I would kill him first, believe me!" Bella snarled.  
"I believe you, Bells. I really do." Emmett said, rubbing his sister's back as her grip got tighter around him.  
"Why did he think I wanted a baby?" She shouted. "It's not even as if it's mine! He slept with another human, not just with Alice… argh, I hate him, I really do."_

--

"Stupid. Smelly. Small. Evil…" Jasper muttered, pacing the room and attempting to smother the sounds bombarding his ears – baby screaming, Esme shouting, Emmett obviously rushing about.

"Jasper, if you even dare say baby, I am going to bring him up here right now!" Bella threatened him, before bursting into giggles.

She knew she'd said the wrong thing and he hadn't caught the almost funny side of it as his hands got stuck firmer to his ears. Without thinking, Bella stood up and launched herself at him.  
"Whaaaa'?" Jasper breathed angrily as she pulled him to the ground.

"Shut up, stupid." She smiled, pinning his shoulders down to stop him flipping her over so he was sitting ontop her. "I want to play a game…"

"Bella." Jasper scolded. "My head hurts. My ears hurt. I wish I could sleep. I wish that baby wasn't here."

Immediately, Bella's face was mere centimetres away from Jasper's neck. Her tongue caressing the dip in his throat softly, her teeth dragging down it ever so gently. A growl brewed in Jasper's throat, but he clamped his mouth shut.

"Spoilsport." She hissed "Anyway, you shouldn't call him _that baby_. His name is _Oliver_."

"Why not? That's what he is…" He muttered sourly.

"Jasper Hale, I thought you would accept him?" Bella questioned, still sitting firmly on top of his chest.

"I never said I would-" He laughed "I said, and I quote – I would try very hard to accept him. After all, he is the lovechild of your mum and your ex-lover…"

Bella's growl shook the entire house, her teeth snapped at Jasper's neck but stopped as soon as they touched the scarred skin. The crying from downstairs stopped abruptly and a small call echoed up the stairs – "Mummmmmmmmma?"

"Aw what?" Bella moaned, standing up and slamming her fist against the wall, causing the whole house to shudder. Jasper, rather tail-between-legs, approached her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Sweetie, don't worry" Jasper said. "He'll forget about his mum soon, won't he?"  
"Stop being mean. I only wanted to have angry sex with you. And he interrupted… jeez, sometimes I think you're right – we should get rid of him…"

--

"So bro, you and Bella and Oliver?" Emmett grinned, elbowing his brother in the ribs.

"What about us?" Jasper smiled wryly. When had Emmett gotten this perceptive of the passing world? The silence between them meant Emmett expected Jasper to answer his own question. "I still want to kill the baby and drink it's blood…"

"Well why don't you?" Emmett laughed.

"Because…" Jasper exhaled.

"Because what?" Emmett pestered, throwing his gigantic arm around Jasper's shoulders and pulling him tightly against him. The bear and the leopard's brotherhood.

"I don't want to _kill_ it, do I…" Jasper grimaced.

"Phew. Thank god." Emmett sighed happily. "I thought you were gonna take my suggestion seriously for a minute then…"

"Emmett?" Jasper began.  
"Yeah?" Emmett said expectantly, turning his face to his brothers.  
"Shut the hell up." Jasper smiled excitedly.

"You love it, Jasper." Emmett grinned, sticking his tongue between his teeth happily. "Sex life good yet?"  
"Only the angry sex. As you know." Jasper admitted, not sheepishly at all.

--

--

"Jasper…" Bella called even as she walked into their bedroom. "Jasper…"

"What?" He groaned, rolling off the bed moodily. "What do you want?"

"That's no way to speak to your love, is it?" Bella said testily.

She kicked his shoes away from his feet, just as he was about to plunge them in. Her arms found his neck and she pulled herself onto him. Her bum directly on his groin, sure way to get his love and devotion for at least a short amount of time.

"Sorry" Jasper groaned – although in a more interested way.

"I love you." Bella smiled into his hair, pressing his face between her chest.

"So…? What do you want? Are you gonna tell me or just tease me?" He laughed, touching his lips against her covered skin.

"Well, we need a chat." She said slowly, leaning away from him. "Without distractions."  
"Spoilsport." He chuckled, teasing her now. His fingers ghosting up her back as she tried to lean as far as she could from him without falling off his lap.

"Fine… We'll chat afterwards yeah?" She said hungrily, rubbing her bum into him even firmer, feeling his body react immediately.  
"Fuck now. Chat later." Jasper growled, flipping Bella onto the bed and suddenly pushing himself against her, his finger tearing at her shirt and twisting the material of her jeans until the seams burst. "I want you. Now."

Her now naked body quivered underneath him. His jeans rubbed against her thighs, creating a beautiful feeling to both of them. She could feel the bulge in his trouser straining to be let out – and she could only agree.

"Off." Jasper said angrily.

"Make me." Bella said, feigning the anger that he had just shown. Her lips turned up involuntarily at the corners, she wasn't really angry. Jasper squeezed her hand once softly before sending out a blast of anger and lust – the most potent they'd tried yet.

"Fine. I'll make you alright." He growled after giving her 2 seconds to adjust.  
"Fuck you." She spat, biting down on his shoulder blade – then licking up the sweet venom that began to run down his abs. "I'm not your bitch."  
"Yes, fuck me. Bitch." Jasper growled, pulling Bella from underneath him and pushing her onto her knees. He stuck her groin into her face. "Now, take off my jeans!"

--

"Okay… talk…" Jasper panted, his hands still stroking her back as they spooned.

"Right, #1 I love you." Bella smiled to herself.

"Oh, really?" Jasper giggled childishly against her hair. "News to me."

"Shut up, idiot. #2, I think you should take Oliver out by yourself tomorrow…" She began, knowing that Jasper was going to interrupt.

"I can't do that! There is no way! I'd eat him… I'd kill him!" His panicked voice sounded strangled coming from his throat. "I'd destroy him!!"

"No. Jasper." Bella smiled. "You won't."

"Don't make me…" He groaned.

"Listen honey, I am not going to make you. I just would like you to try…" She said, rolling over so they were face to face. If he could cry, he would be now. His bottom lip shook with small tremors – he looked like a sad puppy. "Please…"  
"For you." He whimpered. "#3?"

"#3, how do you feel about letting Esme keep Oliver? He's my little brother… and kinda, I dunno how twisted this is, but kinda my child too…" Bella said, stroking his face with her fingers tenderly.

"Fuck." He choked out.

"What, honey?" She asked.

"Fuck!" He said angrily again.

--

**Oh no… Did I go off topic? ;)**

**Next chapter – you want fluff? You want baby? You want bella/jasper? You want bella/Emmett? Or maybe some Carlisle? Where did Alice go? Why do they accept the baby already? Why is Jasper angry? **

**I dunno the answer to some of them, but I can tell you the others :) **


	22. Chapter 21

**Oh la la – unfortunately I have no concept of time or space. So this is a bit long winded, and a day late. **

**No sex, sorry to disappoint. But there is few sweet moments between my favourite fictional man and the baby!**

**--**

"_Jasper, what's wrong honey?" She whispered into his ear. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to… Really…" _

"_I want to. I want to. I want to." He muttered, the sobs racking his chest._

"_Okay honey, it's okay." She said quietly against his soft golden curls that draped over his forehead. "I understand."_

_--_

"Do I have to?" She moaned like a young child, pulling on a thick human hiking jacket. It was brand new, bought yesterday. The same sandy colour as Jasper's hair, making her seem even paler than she already was.

"Yes." He laughed. "Otherwise, you won't look human."

"But it's way too warm!" Bella groaned.

"Think about it – when you go outside, what are the humans wearing at this time of year?" He smiled; knowing that he'd already near enough won the war against her.

"Jumpers." She admitted.

"And… Outdoors?" Jasper prompted.

"Jackets." She huffed and then began mumbling under her breath. "stupid humans, stupid weather, stupid coats…"

"Honey, I love you." Jasper said chuckling and pulling her into a tight hug. "You take the baby out first, and then if you can do it, I'll try too."

"Oliver." Bella smiled at him.

"What?" Jasper asked confused.

"His name is Oliver." Bella said slowly to him, before giving him a quick peck on the cheek and going to find Esme and Oliver.

--

They'd been gone for 2 hours, 2 whole hours of peace.

Jasper had taken the time to start sorting through the wardrobe in his "former" room – well, it was a very small portion of wardrobe, but nonetheless it still had most of his clothes in it. Living out of shop-bought daily clothes was taking its toll on him, he just couldn't bare leaving Bella for an hour to go buy more clothes.

Everything smelt like Alice. Her sickly-sweet scent clung to all the fabrics, he used to love it. He would breathe it in at every opportunity. But now, it was just a reminder. The past was over and he was _glad._

"_As sure as night is dark and day is light, I keep you on my mind both day and night, And happiness I've known proves that it's right, Because you're mine, I walk the line_" He sang to himself softly.

The pile of clothes to keep was a lot smaller than those he didn't want to keep. He wanted the clothes he had picked out. The tights jeans, the simple button-up shirts, the smart brown shoes. He wanted these, because he liked these.

"Mumma?" A gentle call reached his ears. The only word Oliver could say, Jasper snorted to himself. It was no use here; no-one had mothers here, not really. Especially Oliver.

He carried on pulling random clothes from the increasingly bare looking shelves at his end of the wardrobe.

"Mummmmmmaaaaa?" Oliver called out again.

"God sake." Jasper muttered under his breath. "Poor kid…. Brown suede shirt, hmm, never liked it!"

Then, the scent of blood hit his nose.

--

"Bella!" Jasper shouted desperately trying not to breathe.

No answer.

"Esme! Carlisle!" He shouted again.

No answer.

His throat burned angrily at him. He'd hunted every single day since Oliver had arrived, even if he didn't _want_ him, he couldn't _kill_ him. His hands were clamped to his sides, gripping the carpet as if planting him firmly in place.

"Mummmmmaaaaaa!!" A sorry cry rang out again from somewhere in the living room downstairs. It wasn't too much blood, Jasper could tell. But it smelt good and young and fresh…

--

His feet struggled to move towards the blood – out the wardrobe into the bedroom, out the bedroom into the landing, down the stairs… He'd avoided temptation for too long now.

Thirst over protection?

Want over control?

Need over love?

--

"Mumma?" Oliver called questioningly as he saw Jasper begin to descend down the stairs. His feet unnaturally clumsy as they moved robotically down each step.

"I'm not mumma." Jasper breathed carefully, watching Oliver as closely as he could. He could feel the pain drifting off of the small child – he was at the age of walking and almost at the age of talking. They'd had Oliver there for nearly 3 months now – Esme and Rosalie had taken to him, Carlisle and Emmett had accepted him and Bella had learned to love him. It was just Jasper still learning what to do.

He watched Oliver's small blue eyes look Jasper up and down before holding out his small hand in Jasper's direction.

There was a small cut and blood gently beading and trickling down his small fingers, Oliver had tried to mop it up on his t-shirt but it still bled enough to cause discomfort to him.

"Fie Bloff Mit Ega Jasper?" Oliver garbled, his hand pointing at him.

"What? Say it again…" Jasper requested, still trying desperately to hold his breath and keep his eyes trained off the blood. The burn in his throat was stupidly sore to him. How was he keeping his cool?

"Fie… Bloff… Mit…" Oliver began slowly and calmly. Then he looked to Jasper and paused.

"Uh-huh, I understand." Jasper said "Carry on…"

"Ega Jasper!" Oliver shouted excitedly, pointing his finger at Jasper who had descended the last few stairs unconsciously. Oliver staggered towards him with outstretched arms – the last few droplets of blood forcing their way out of the rapidly scabbing cut.

--

"Jasper?" Jasper laughed, reaching down and picking Oliver up carefully. He seemed so much like glass in Jasper's eyes – one small move, one tiny grip too tight, one tap and he could die. Very very breakable.

"Jasper!" Oliver repeated excitedly, giggling and bouncing in his arms.

"Oliver?" Jasper asked. "Who's Oliver?"

"Oliver!" He screamed happily, pointing at himself and grinning widely. He was barely inches from Jasper's face. The baby smell flooding his nose and brain – baby powder, melon, Bella.

Jasper smiled truly, his eyes lighting up with delight. What a clever human baby! If any baby deserved to be in this household – it was a clever one!

--

"Oliver… lorv… Jasper." Oliver yawned slowly as he sat on Jasper's knee. His small head rested against Jasper's chest – a little smile sitting on his lips and an even bigger one on Jasper's face.

"I like you too." Jasper murmured. He could _not_ bring himself to say love – because he didn't love him. He loved Alice. He loves Bella. But this child? It was a like, possibly could be a _strong_ like.

"lorv?" Oliver asked, pulling on Jasper's hand that had wrapped itself around his back to hold him safely on his knee.

He couldn't answer the child on his lap.


End file.
